twentyseventh of december II

i've been in weird moods all day. =X

for three hours while we were shopping i was just... out of it. my whole brain felt fuzzy. my dad noticed and he took me to the car for 20 minutes where i read and drank the arizona he bought me before suddenly i was back in the zone again, instead of perpetually out to lunch like before. it was just fucking weird, that was.

i think i want to go through my closet and organize things.

i'm getting destructive. like we were going by this BEAUTIFUL mansion house by where our condo is that has these gorgeous christmas lights. it just finished building two years ago and we've seen it go from the ground up, really. there's never any lights on in it though. for some reason when we were passing it my first thought was 'we should burn it down'. i wasn't serious, nah. i haven't even drank or anything as of now so why would i be serious about burning a house down? it was just a thought. and just now when i thought about my closet i had the thought to shred all the clothing. obviously, i'm not going to. i love my clothes but the thought did come in. =X shit, i need to get a grip.

i'm scared of life right now. just so effin scared and effed up right now. i'm going to bed.

charlotte.